Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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