This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
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Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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