he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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