I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
