I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
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I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
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If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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