Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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