Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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