I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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