Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
