So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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