A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
