that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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