I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
