He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
my poor anus
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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