she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
