i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
