I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Randomize
