I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
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He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
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I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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