I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
