Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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