His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
