It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
