i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
