he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
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All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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