it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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