Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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