1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
