His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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