people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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