I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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