Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
