What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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