1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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