yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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