When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
