You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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