she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
