are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize