i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize