his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
