Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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