Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Two words: blizzard sex
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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