They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
