I heard we made out
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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