YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Randomize
