I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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