I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
