none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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