If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
