oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
