Got a toothbrush?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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