Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
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