A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
