So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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