I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
