Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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