You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
