I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
