remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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