Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
