After last night, I could never be a politician.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
