you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
